Another Day on 03 September 2008
, 9:55 PMI think it was on Monday, and I'm posting it because some people want to read it.
Anyway, this was written when I was all emotional and all that.
But I don't really bear grudges.
Or maybe I do, for dad.
~~~
Another Day
Well, today is just another day.
But not quite just another day.
It’s more of a just another day and another day of nagging.
But it isn’t just another day of nagging either.
There has been another quarrel with dad and he has some serious issues this time. Actually, as he always does, just as he always puts it in “You always never listen to me!” Unquote.
To anyone reading this ranting, kindly note that this has been produced while I’m still in the aftereffects of the argument between The Boss and I.
Sometimes it’s really irritating when someone keeps annoying you and irritating you that you eventually flare up and say something you don’t want to say.
In my case, my dad keeps telling me that I don’t understand things so he assumes just about anything I do. In fact, he assumes everything. If you exclude how I execute my chores such as wearing a shoe or taking a bath.
It’s the ‘what’ chore I execute, the ‘when’ I execute it, the ‘where’ I would be executing it, the ‘who’ I will be executing it with that matters.
‘Why’ is usually left out in dad’s equations, too.
And that’s the problem.
He could ignore the ‘how’ so as long things get done as they are supposed to, in an appropriate manner of course.
But the ‘why’ is what usually sets us apart, which is also when the arguing begins.
I have been trying to understand why all the argument starts anyway.
Why do we even quarrel? Is it because I don’t listen to dad at all? Is it because I don’t act accordingly to what he wants – what he expects? Or is it because I’m not good enough for dad?
This is really stupid.
I have gone through everything I can possibly think of.
I have even done what he wanted.
Nothing seems to please him. Or it seems because there has been no way he’s been showing how he feels except when he’s all angry and fussed up and exclaims “Oh I am fuming now and my blood is boiling I give you
The words in bold annoy me.
What wrong have I done to deserve all the threatening terms coming at me? Man, it’s as if dad wants to control me over everything.
Sadly, he doesn’t understand that I wouldn’t give in. Not to something that I want to do, my way. Yeah, I know what I’m doing. I have grown up, so give me some room where I can do my own things and how ever I want to.
Second point:
When ever I ask dad if I should have any room to do things my own way, he tells me that I have been given too much room, and he doesn’t want this the way I want it. So then, doesn’t this make something his way?
It’s not ‘my way’ anymore. It’s been controlled by dad.
This is not the point, because hey for one moment you say there is room for negotiation and the next, there isn’t!
Then dad says that what he can give in to has been given. And it’s been enough, but the way the sentence gets across me, it’s more like he’s been so generous and I’m still demanding for more. This is when dad would ask me to compare myself to Africans, who apparently have no choice but to live life the way it is laid out for them.
Why compare? In this hectic and stressful society, many people like to compare something with another. Sure, that may be the way things can possibly improve, but that’s not what life is all about. Getting better at something for what reason?
In my case, it would be getting better chances to get ahead at life than my peers. This is the typical mindset people have in developed and fast-paced societies.
You can’t take a break. You have to get better. Or be the best.
So actually, everything has been meant to be. For me and the majority of my peers, we’re expected to get certain grades and honorable achievements. Our lives become controlled and no one is going to like that, let alone enjoy.
No more enjoyment in life. But isn’t that the whole point.
Do something you enjoy, be happy and live life.
Nope, apparently, it’s not.
This means I can’t look forward to what ever lies ahead because I will not be able to enjoy what I will do.
How is that freedom? Zero sense.
Dad always asks me to think over what I’ve said, what I’ve done, every time there has been argument between dad and I.
And every time he does, I ponder. Haven’t I already reflected and changed for how I thought I should have?
Maybe dad didn’t do as he preached.
This brings me to my third point:
Hypocritical moments!
There are two types of people I do not like.
They are hypocrites and people who do not provide constructive feedback. These people do not want to help you but just want to get the better of you.
Dad seems to belong to this category.
He asks me to listen to him (when he never does to me).
When it gets to my turn to voice my opinion, I get cut off and he’ll just keep yelling until I decide to stop opposing him because I don’t want him to get any heart attack.
And the heart attack is more consequential on his part. He eats and sleeps, becomes fat, doesn’t want to exercise or cut down the already unhealthy diet and continues junking on nonsense. So now it becomes my part to stop, for his better good actually.
Frankly, I couldn’t care less if he passed on. I do care about him, but I can’t do more than watch him waste his life away. My dad is old enough, mind me, to know what is best for him. He’ll pass on eventually and it’s pretty much inevitable.
I care more for my direct family members.
How will they accept this sad fact?
Anyway, how should I face a hypocrite?
There’s no way I want to do something for someone that clearly wouldn’t appreciate it for now or ever.
Would you?
This brings me to my last point:
It’s about abstinence and the consequences that follow.
You know how people, in my case - my parents, want you to abstain from some activity or someone. I hate the idea of staying away of something that’s probably bad, or something feared. If you’re never going to try and go at something, you’re never going to get past this hurdle.
So then, dad likes to ask me to stay away from some of my friends.
Stay away, don’t do this, don’t do that.
I don’t just want to be told. I want explanations.
If there aren’t any clear and sound explanations, I wouldn’t want to do it your way. Hey, you may mean good, but it’s not what I want, it’s what you want and what is good for you! Not me, you!
I’ll just end here to reflect further and deeper.
Sharing my 2 cents worth is tough, because it seems like I have given out a dollar to everyone.
A penny for your thoughts?
Please comment and tell me if you can relate.
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EMAIL /
Rafael, 18
SR Junior College